I simply wanted to know if they tasted the same. “Sure do. Shame the turkey
dog gets such a bad rap. Except for the textual differences, it’s pretty much
just like beef.” She explained the differences in each meat: how their corn dog
is actually chicken, how it’s gonna’ be on sale next week for only 79 cents,
how next week is going to be packed on account of spring break at the U.
She is a fast-food whore, de facto weiner expert like pre-cooked, minimum
wage porn. Diligence unrewarded. How long has she been so knowledgeable
about livestock, so passionate about poultry? Did she have dreams of being a
veterinarian before assuming her present customer service duties? Was she a
vegetarian before frying flesh? Have her middle age eyes seen their best, choice
cut days? And when she goes home, does she have a beefcake waiting on her,
setting a place at the table asking if she’d like mustard or ketchup.
(Originally published in bad-ass New Wave Vomit)