The results of the paternity test on the morning talk show that only focuses on baby momma’ drama and transgender makeovers were obvious when the charismatic host announced, “You are NOT the father!” Turns out, neither was his brother. And the young unwed mother (who upon first glance looked like a resident of Bedford Falls, but whose deliberate urban accent claimed Westside Bedford Sty) cried as if every DNA test thereafter would be rerun reminding her of reoccurring failure, and bad decisions made. “You do NOT have the job!” “You can NOT buy the car!” “He is NOT the father either!” Sometimes it’s necessary to change the channel, make the decision to get off your ass and search for the remote, rather than subject yourself to infinite daytime drabble and what you are not. Because who wants a daily dose of that shit? Not me.