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Conversation with “Anna” the IKEA Automated Online Assistant

This is Anna.

This is an actual conversation I had with her.

Are you pretty?
I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here to talk about IKEA.

Is IKEA pretty?
The IKEA business idea is: “We shall offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”

What if many people can’t afford them?
I don’t know the answer to that question yet, I am sorry. Please contact your local store for help on the issue.

Where is my local store?
Which IKEA store would you like the contact details for?

The prettiest store possible.
I’m really not sure what it is you’re trying to say. Can you please try and re-phrase your question or statement?

Sorry. Just so you know, I like how you blink every few seconds and tilt your head like the sides of your neck need a break.
Thank you for your feedback, but I don’t think I am that much expressive. Can I be of any further assistance?

Do you like poems?
I like reading the IKEA catalog which you can get in any IKEA store, or you can view it online.

You’re pretty.
My creators made me nice to look at. If you have any questions about IKEA please ask me and I’ll be happy to help.

Who are your creators?
I was created by Artificial Solutions. I’ll be happy to answer any questions about IKEA, its products or services!

Does IKEA sell children?
Here you will find Children’s IKEA range.

What is the age range of the children you sell?
Please have a look at the Play furniture.

Will you play on the furniture with me, Anna?
Everybody’s got different interests and hobbies, but I can’t talk about them now. I’m here to just to talk about IKEA.

Do you love IKEA?
How is IKEA different from other furnishing stores? We offer a wide range, good design and function, and also low prices. That’s our business idea.

This is no longer poetic.
I’m very sorry, but I can’t really talk about things like that at this time.

I must be going, Anna. But I will always remember this day.
Ok, I hope I’ve been able to help you in some way.

I love you, Anna.
That’s very nice. How about asking me something about IKEA?

 

More IKEA poems>>>>> HERE

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About Daniel Romo

Author of When Kerosene's Involved (Mojave River Press, 2014) and Romancing Gravity (Silver Birch Press, 2013). I'm partial to prose poems. And fragments.

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